i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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