I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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