and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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