but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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