I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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