My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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