I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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