Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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