I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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