Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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