i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize