im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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