people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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