somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
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I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
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The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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