Did I show you my penis last night?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize