you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
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One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
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WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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