I have demons in me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize