dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
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You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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