I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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