What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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