I am in a vortex of obligation.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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