he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize