I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize