I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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