By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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