I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize