You're my little dorito
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize