You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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