she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize