then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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