I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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