btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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