This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize