Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize