Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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