So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize