apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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