Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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