if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
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Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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