Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize