he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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