i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize