so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
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I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
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Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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