So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
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You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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