You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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