Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize