He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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