I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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