the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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