mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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