Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize